There’s a little problem in the world that is condemning women from creating the life they really want. It’s a little thing called the “blame game” and as long as you’re playing it, you’re never going to get as far as you’d like.
I know it’s way easier placing blame outside oneself whether it’s your parents for how they raised you (or lack thereof), for losses you’ve experienced, for heart-wrenching life events that have ripped your heart out and made you question why you should even go on. You may have even survived intense physical, emotional, or verbal abuse. You may have spent years in drugs or alcohol or blaming other people for a long string of broken relationships. You may feel justified for feeling bitter, feeling wronged, and feeling as if life has happened to you.
But, this kind of living isn’t going to get you where you want to go. Yes, you have no control over what has happened in the past. It’s happened regardless of your fault or the fault of others, but it does NOT determine how you live your life moving forward.
But, you have to a decision to make. Are you going to own these events as part of your life, as what have made you become the person that you are? Will you see them as a strength for your story? Will you find determination in your heart ache to rise?
We all have this option, but not enough women are taking it. They stand outside their story still waiting for the impossible to erase the past. They lie to themselves saying “if _________ would just ________, then I could _________”. This always places the outcome and destiny of their life in someone else’s hands. This isn’t the framework you want if your goal is to become courageous, proud of oneself, and at peace with life so you can move forward freely.
I won’t lie… this is hard work. Learning to take ownership for your part in things is not always fun and filled with sunshine and unicorns. Sometimes it requires some good, long looks at yourself, your morality, your value system, and your mistakes. Other times, it requires some heart-felt apologies and major life changes to finally feel you’ve made an amends and righted a wrong. You may cry and scream and resist and have many a pity party as you do this type of growth, but it will be the most self-gratifying thing you will ever do. And here’s why…
The moment you take ownership for your sh*t is the moment you decide how people can impact you. You start to loosen the shame, clear out the guilt, and stand in your imperfections. No one can make you feel shameful for something you already own. This move right here helps you take back your power, a necessary component to getting everything you want out of life.
This could take months. It could take years. It all depends on how committed to the process you really are, how brave you can be in confronting the past and your current mistakes, and your ability in seeing your life through an honest, compassionate lens. It will also depend on how eager you are to make some serious shifts and start doing things differently now!
This work will grow your soul like nobody’s business. This work will change your life in every single way. This work will transform how you relate to yourself and drastically impact your own value, esteem, and worth.
All good things, lovely! So, have you done the work? This is exactly when you want to get a therapist on board and start digging! Once you’ve learned the skill of owning your sh*t, you’re now ready to take over the world. And the world needs what you have to offer!!