We’ve arrived! In more ways than one and tuning into this episode, you’ll soon find out why.
For the past few episodes, we’ve been diving into the spiritual work that accompanies expansion and before we dive into Part III today, let’s talk about expansion in general. Why do we do this work?
If expanding into our best selves were easy, there wouldn’t be a need for spiritual development or personal development. There wouldn’t be a need for life coaches or therapists or personal trainers or any other type of professional that guides us through change. As I mentioned in Part II, change is hard. We cha-cha forward and cha-cha back. And simply living through this limbo phase of change is challenging enough on it’s own. The contrast here is palpable. We deeply feel the gap between who we want to become and the ways we are working on getting there, often times feeling as though we’re coming up short.
This contrast becomes such a new normal for us that we gradually grow accustomed to this new level of conscious effort we put forth to become someone new. It’s so gradual that we often don’t realize when this effort starts to taper off and we find ourselves in this new, new normal of simply being this new version of ourselves, which is why I want to take you back to where this series all began – sitting in the river after Wild & Holy Weekend.
As you recall, me and one of my dear clients were basking in the afterglow of Wild & Holy Weekend while enjoying the cool water of the Guadalupe River. As we were sitting and talking, she mentioned to me that she wish she had come to Wild & Holy Weekend earlier on in her journey because she felt it would have been even more powerful for her. Curious as to her deeper meaning, I asked her why and she replied that she didn’t feel she had had any big breakthrough, but what was really going on is that she hadn’t felt any deep contrast like the shifts, aha’s, and spiritual openings she’d experienced before in her journey. And let me tell you, I was so glad she shared this with me because it is so easy for us to get so used to that contrast that we come to expect it as an indication that we are shifting, growing, evolving, and expanding.
But there’s a very specific type of spiritual shift, the third type of spiritual shift that is void of the deep contrast we’ve come to rely on that alerts us to deep spiritual shifts and it was this type of spiritual shift my client experienced at Wild & Holy Weekend. But before we dive in, it is THIS type of spiritual shift that we all work for. You would think that if it’s this kind of shift we work so hard for, then it would be this kind of shift we have our eyes peeled for. We’d be on the lookout for this final shift to take place. But more times than not, we get so grounded down into the actual work of the TFDs that we lose sight of how much we’ve changed, how much we’ve evolved, how much we’ve expanded, which is why having powerful mirrors around us is SO incredibly important. Which is why Wild & Holy Weekend speaks to me so much because it’s a weekend of remembering and mirroring and being reminded. And it isn’t simply me being a powerful mirror for the women who join me. It’s about every single woman there being a powerful mirror for the other. So together, we’re reminded. Together, we remember.
The last type of spiritual shift is Embodiment, the process of actually becoming a new version of ourselves where all our spiritual work pays offs and we finally become. It’s such a gradual progression that it’s often overlooked. It’s such a gradual process of conscious effort after conscious effort that we lose track of when being this new version of ourself starts to feel easier. And for this client in particular, she went into Wild & Holy Weekend with the intention of not isolating, of building connection, of being in community. And because it wasn’t that hard, because it didn’t feel that forced, because it didn’t feel like such a big contrast for her because she’d gone through the paradigm shift, she’d been working consistently on the TFDs, she didn’t notice how she had arrived for this intention. There was no big aha of “I did it”. There was no big aha of “I’ve arrived”. And sometimes, it takes someone outside of ourselves to witness our growth and transformation, to acknowledge it, to celebrate it in order for us take notice.
How many times have you had the experience in which you’ve seen someone you haven’t seen in quite some time and they make the comment of how much you’ve grown or changed? Does it feel like you’ve grown or changed that much? Or does it feel like it’s been such a gradual evolution that you’ve lost sight of the contrast between who you used to be and who you are now? And isn’t this why we do this work? To be that new version of ourselves that walks differently through the world, who carries ourselves differently, who experiences things differently, who have laid down our bitterness or insecurities and healed and embraced and accepted and found more peace with who we are, where we have arrived ever so gradually to being someone we’re proud of being?
But far too often, we don’t take inventory of our own personal growth. We don’t go back and look at how much we’ve changed or grown or how certain fears or insecurities have shrunk. Have you lately?
The reason the shift in embodiment is so often overlooked is because just like waves, we have new paradigms coming in from time to time and we have new TFDs come with them that we’re working on shifting. We become so focused on our TFDs that we lose sight of all the old TFDs we’ve gradually had to work on less to work on new TFDs more. We lose sight of how we’re becoming in certain areas that used to take a lot of conscious effort because our conscious effort has shifted to something new.
This really takes me back to the enoughness work in a strong way. In so many of my interviews and in my own personal work, I realized enoughness couldn’t exist in the land of more – when I become more, do more, have more, achieve more. And neither can embodiment because our soul is here to consistently expand. There will always be something new our soul is calling us to embody to live our truth and do our holy work in the world and if we never take stock of all that we’ve already become, we’re missing the spiritual point. But more than that, we’re missing a HUGE opportunity for gratitude, practicing reverence for our path, finding the holiness and wholeness we’re creating for ourselves and what this does is leaves your perspective greatly skewed. We become far too much future focused and joy, peace, the actual achievement of expansion only lives in the now.
But I want to break down the experience of embodiment even more. What does it actually mean? In grad school to become a therapist, I gravitated toward humanistic theories such as Carl Rogers, Abraham Maslow, and the beloved Viktor Frankl. I loved the idea of self-actualization and the important put on becoming our best selves for our mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing. But more so, I loved the way pathology shows up when we aren’t pursuing our best selves. There’s a great deal of incongruency that shows up for us, meaning there’s a great deal of contrast between who we know we can be and who we’re actually being. And this goes for anything – the lover or spouse we know we can be, the dreams we know we can achieve, the healing we know we need to do to erase the bitterness in our hearts that keep us separate from God. We always know when we aren’t living up to our best selves and for me, this generally created feelings of shame, inadequacy, and not-enoughness.
But what has happened since I’ve started to awaken to this spiritual process of expansion is I’ve started to look at all this much differently. Seeing our possibility calls us forward to shift and grow, evolve and expand. It’s when we aren’t taking action to our possibility where we can become shameful or judgmental. And even when we are taking action, when it isn’t happening as fast as we think it “should”, we can still experience that self-judgement.
Have you ever felt like you aren’t as far along as you thought you should be? We all have, right? Add feeling lost in who you are and what you’re here to do, and this can add an excruciating layer to our seeking hearts. But the process of embodying our fullest expression is the process of bringing our TFDs into alignment with who we want to be. It’s congruency between our real self and ideal self as Carl Rogers would say. It’s when who we want to be becomes who we actually are and it happens so gradually that most of us don’t even realize it when we’ve arrived because we’re already off to the next thing to become.
Taking time to take inventory of your growth is the step so many of us overlook. We become so focused on all the more we have to do and achieve and become, we totally don’t even give credit to what we’ve already done, achieved, and the person we’ve already become.
Want to do a great service to yourself and your soul? Take an inventory of how much you’ve grown in the past few years. Take inventory of who you are now and all that you have embodied. Learn to look for growth and progress instead of only your areas of improvement. Learn to celebrate yourself and all the tiny baby steps you’re taking in your journey and be proud of them.
We are always in the process of embodying something new and each new embodiment will reward us with a new vision of what’s possible for us. And just like that, we continue to expand. Expansion never stops. That’s what we’re here to do – to expand into our best selves, to step into our holy work, to leave our unique impact, to find healing and congruency and peace and acceptance for the things that hurt and keep us separate from God. We are here to awaken to the reality that there is no separation, that we’re Divine beings destined for Divine work and wholeness and holiness and the only way we get there is being our wildest selves embracing our fullest expression.
Wild & Holy Weekend is about all three of these spiritual shifts we’ve just talked about. It’s about creating paradigm shifts, of stepping into new TFDs, and embodying something new. It’s about evolving and expanding, expressing and becoming which is why Wild & Holy Weekend means so much to me. It encompasses so many levels of spiritual work, so much so that the gift of this experience will continue to unwrap itself for you for months and months to come.
If you’re ready to welcome this Wild & Holy Work into your life, visit WildandHolyWeekend.com to learn more about this intimate retreat experience and how you can say “yes” to your own personal expansion while being held in a sacred container to shift, evolve, and grow in your truth. Join me at Wild & Holy Weekend in Austin, TX September 22-24 for a weekend of self expression and expansion that will shift the way you walk through the world.
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