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Overcoming the “Look at Me” Culture + How it Interferes with Your Enoughness

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Another #TruthbombTuesday coming at ya today!  And I have a feeling I’m not alone in this…

Ever feel like everyone is doing so much better than you?   There’s more to this story than meets the eye:

If you take a look online, regardless of what social media platform you use, you’ll notice the millions of messages out there that scream “Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!” Maybe you’ve even been one of them.

What’s generally behind these “look at me” statements is a desire for a pat on the back after sharing a big win because who doesn’t want a “nice job” when we’ve done something well? Or maybe, others use this tactic to inspire others that if they can do xyz, they can too.

But the danger is that this is only part of the whole story.

People are quite eager to share their wins, but not as open as sharing the work it took to get there.  Why?  Because we value success.  We value talent.  We value things being effortless.  We value perfection.  We value being able to do things ourselves.

What we don’t hear about is the blood, sweat, and tears something took to arrive. We don’t hear about how long someone’s been working on this in order to make it big. And we surely don’t know about the underbelly, the dark stuff that people go through in order to make things happen.

We don’t know what sacrifices they make, what hours they work, what their lifestyle is, what their relationships look like.

Anyone can paint a picture from the outside, but it’s what’s inside that counts.Click To Tweet

The reason this interferes with our enoughness, is that we are constantly bombarded with success story after success story and we all want our own version. We all want life to be easy and the fact that it’s not, we feel like we’re doing something wrong or worse, something’s wrong with us.

Furthermore, it propagates competitiveness and comparison, which leads to self-judgment and inner criticism: both of which are shit storms for feelings of not being good enough.

However, this doesn’t just happen on social media although it’s a great place to see it in action. It happens in the conversations when people only tell you their wins. It happens when we get so wrapped up in other people viewing us as a success, that we hide our real truth along with our struggle.

We want things to be effortless because this in some way feeds our worthiness; that we’re that good that it just came natural.

We believe that our struggle makes us less than.

What I think would be better is sharing more of the whole story, sharing the real story.

Because until we get honest, we’re promoting a façade of unrealistic expectations. Click To TweetAnd as long as we’re promoting a façade, how can any of us be real? How can any of us find the courage to tell you how hard it is sometimes? How can any of us feel safe in sharing the hard stuff? And what does this do to our ability to be enough???

So, what do we do to fix it?

We share the real truth… “I’ve been working on this for months and I just got my first break”, “I just crushed it today. I’m so glad I didn’t give up those first few years.” “My partner just bought me xyz. I’m so glad we stuck it out through that tough time.” “I made $_____ today.  That investment of x amount of time and x amount of money was worth it!”

Our struggles are important because they’re part of our story.

To deny your struggle is to deny yourself. Click To TweetAnd there is no way to freedom, joy, or authentic love while denying pieces of yourself. That’s not how it works.

So be real. Be authentic. Let yourself be seen. Share your wins over and over and over again, but be mindful of painting too rosy of a picture because someone somewhere is doubting themselves because they think it’s supposed to be easy.

 

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