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Facing Your Own Hard-Headedness

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Imagine (or maybe you’ve had this experience) having a conversation with a person who is completely irrational. Everything you say, she has something to come back with.  Every time you offer a solution, she tells you why it won’t work.  Every time you offer guidance with personal real life experience, she tells you why her life is different.  

And every time you think you've reached the bottom of her irrationality, you realize there's an underground garage.Click To Tweet

Where will it end?

 

But what if that person is yourself?

Ahhhh, here’s where it gets tricky (and unsure, uncertain, afraid, and sad because what if she never comes around?). And it’s here where you’ll find out just how much you’re made of because it will be easy to let her win, stay in her irrationality, stay in the exact things that keep you stuck and keep you from your own enoughness.

But, dear sister, I beg of you… carry on!  If there was ever a hope in the world for you to break free it doesn’t come from giving up or giving in or taking the road most travelled.  And it’s here that

I encourage you to put your brave face on for a very good reason and START TO FEEL your feelings.Click To TweetBecause underneath all the striving, all the working, all the busyness, all the doing, becoming, and achieving is a fear. A fear so deep and a fear so wide, you wonder how you can ever mend it, but you can.

The fear is simple… you’ll never be good enough. Life will never be good enough. You’ll never be fully happy and all the success in the world can’t fix it.

You know it. I see it. But instead of doing something about it, you get in the silly competition that you can prove it wrong.

And so you try.

And try.

And try.

And try.

And you’re kicking ass and taking names adding up an impressive list of accomplishments, $$$$, PhD’s, M.A.’s, M.S.’s, and certifications, getting into your skinny jeans, overcoming self-esteem issues, doing some healing, finding a relationship, figuring out healthy relationships, making a really good life for yourself, and so on and so on.

And oh, you think you have this one nailed! You think you’ve won. You think you’ve showed that little piece of you that she’s as wrong as she can be.

And the real kicker is that after you get done with years and years of proving yourself, you only realize you’re exactly where you’ve always been:

stuck in this pattern of proving, perfecting, pleasing, and performing all to no avail.

And do you know what this feels like? It feels like exhaustion. It feels like you’re always trying to keep up, get ahead, carry on, do more. More and more and OMG friggin’ more. Only to realize you’re just as hardheaded as that other little piece of you.

Neither one of you are budging. Neither one of you are winning.

In fact, you’re both losing at the same game of WHAT IT TAKES TO BE ENOUGH.

So, perhaps you’re done with this little power struggle that’s going on inside. Maybe you’re exhausted of trying to do it all and be it all to prove something to yourself.

Maybe you’re tired of letting perfection rule your life since it’s a game you’ll never win.

And maybe you’re tired of pleasing society by playing by their rules of what success and happiness and fulfillment mean.

And maybe you’re tired of putting on the show that you have it all together, that you’re really fine inside, and you have this beautiful life that is ever so fulfilling and you’re as happy as can be because shouldn’t you be?

Maybe you’re damn tired. And, I really hope you are.

Because it’s only when we become really, really tired that our hardheadedness starts to soften and we start to consider maybe there’s another way.

And let me tell you, all good things start with MAYBE.Click To Tweet

Maybe there’s another way to get to through to her than a silly tug of war.  Maybe there’s a different way to speak straight to her heart.  Maybe there’s a different way to convince her she’s got it all wrong.

And with as much vengeance as you’ve tried to prove and prove and prove, you start to consider there is indeed a much easier way, albeit an uncomfortable one.  And when you see it, you’ll be shocked.  It’ll be so easy you’ll wonder why you’ve spent all your time trying so very hard.

 

But it’s here that things will begin to change…

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