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For the following 25 questions, award yourself 1 point for each question you answer as True and 0 points for each question you answer as False.

In other words…    True = 1  False = 0

Record a separate score for each section.  You will have 5 scores total.

Pleasing: ______

  1. You’d rather hide your true feelings than risk hurting someone else’s.
  2. You tend to stay in negative, defeating relationships longer than you want to.
  3. You tend to be the “fixer” in relationships often going above and beyond and usually apologizing first to “keep the peace”.
  4. You tend to shy away from decisions or opportunities if those you’re close to view them as reckless, dangerous, or simply disapprove.
  5. You have difficulty asserting what you want, what you need, or saying “no” out of fear of being viewed as needy, selfish, arrogant, rude, or an inconvenience.

Performing: ______

  1. You feel like successful people should have it all figured out and this is definitely an area you work hard to maintain.
  2. You notice that your personality changes depending on who you’re around.
  3. You know how to “butter” people up when you want something and know how to get your way.
  4. It’s difficult for you to share your inadequacies with others and strive to present yourself as someone who has it together.
  5. You have a pattern of exaggerating your “wins” to look more successful or exaggerating your “losses” to look incompetent.

Perfecting: ______

  1. When things are out of place or cluttered, you tend to find it hard to relax.
  2. You tend to focus on mistakes vs. what was executed well.
  3. You have a tendency to be hypercritical of your performance while always looking for ways to improve.
  4. You’ve generally been in the top percentile for most of your life. When your performance is average, you tend to view this as negative.
  5. You tend to ruminate on projects for extended periods of time. So much so that these thoughts can be intrusive and even distract you during conversations with others or interfere with your sleep.

Proving: _____

  1. When someone is better at something than you are, you tend to feel inferior.
  2. You’re competitive in nature with a go to instinct of “sizing” someone up upon first meeting.
  3. You feel the most confident when you’re the center of attention, feel you’re the best in the room, or have the upper hand when it comes to being the dominant force in a conversation.
  4. You generally enjoy charming or impressing others and are usually quite successful with leaving a good first impression.  You know what to say and what not to say to win people over.
  5. You have a tendency to focus on success, achievement, and productivity to measure how well you’re doing compared to others.

Putting Off: _____

  1. When faced with a lot of obligations, instead of muscling through, you’re more likely to take a nap or find lots of other things to do.
  2. You tend to “know” when you need to take action on something for an extended period of time, but you have a pattern of putting it on the back burner purposefully.
  3. You tend to wait for others to take action first before taking action yourself.
  4. The bigger the task, the more you avoid it.
  5. You tend to know the “right” action to take, but often talk yourself out of it.