How’s everything going lovely? Are you getting everything you want out of life? Have you been spending so much time, energy, and emotion doing all you can to have it all, but still feel like you’re coming up short?
I’ve been there. For years, actually! I had a little problem called “never-contented” and it was sucking the joy out of my life like nobody’s business, which is exactly why I want to spare you the pain!
It wasn’t until I asked myself the following three questions that life began to change and change it did!
My sense of self deepened beyond recognition. My ability to cope with life on life’s terms became much healthier. I started to see life through a deeper lens. What was even better is that all the things I had dreamed of started to become a very real reality. And it all started with 3 very BIG questions:
1. What do I really want for myself? Not what my parents want for me. Not what my grandparents want for me. Not what my boss wants for me. Not what my teachers want for me. Not what everyone else was doing who seemed to have it all, but ME. What did I want for Me? This was the game changer of all game changers because I started to listen to my own voice, my own heart, my own desires, and my own dreams. I won’t lie. It took me some time to separate my voice from all the other voices I had heard all my life. My parents were probably the most difficult to separate because I wanted to badly to make them proud. My parents knew me more than I knew myself for a very long time. It was hard coming into my own and learning to trust my own intuition that I indeed did know what was best for me and could decide what I really wanted. This was my first step, but there are no rules in getting the life you want. Everyone will have their own process.
2. What brings me the most joy? When I first started to answer this one, I leaned on the surface level experience of happiness. I looked toward outer things like achievements, relationships, validation, material things, and certain experiences that meant I had arrived. I thought about success and what that really meant to me and still other people’s voices were there. Joy took me down a level deeper into the heart space, somewhere that was stronger and more rooted. Joy? Had I ever really thought about it? I wasn’t sure, but what I realized from answering this question was that in order to feel joy, I had to love me. I had to be proud of me. I had to stick up for me. I had to put myself as a priority. I had to respect me. I had to treat me like I wanted others to treat me. Another game changer because this wholeheartedly changed the way I thought, felt, and saw myself. This is what built the foundation for courage to actually go after what I wanted. This was my ticket to self-worth and for me that is the epitome of joy. I’ll be curious to hear what joy means to you!
3. How can I use my passions to serve the world? This was the last little nugget that was desperately needed to give me the direction my dreams were craving. What am I here to do? Again the voices came up of who I thought I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to be doing with my life. Trying to figure out this answer took me in multiple directions within a short year and half, not to mention all the other years before when I was following what everyone else wanted for me. But, I committed to the process, dug deep, and came out the other side. I can say with all conviction that I know what I’m here to do. I know who I’m here to help. And I know how I’m supposed to do it. Work is no longer work. It’s play. It’s a natural expression of who I am. I feel full on a daily basis and feel as though my soul literally shines with the life I’m creating for myself. I suppose this is what certainty feels like. This is what purpose feels like. This has changed everything!
So, I ask of you, have you spent time answering these questions for yourself? What are your answers as they stand right now? I’d love to hear from you! When you do the work, anything in the world can be yours. If you feel lost, unsure, unsettled, or even hopeless, don’t give up! With the right support, you can always find your way. I want that for you. The Universe wants that for you!
For additional reading on the difference between happiness & joy, check out my post The Difference Between Happiness & Joy and Why We Have It All Wrong.